It’s been a long, cold winter here in Texas, and the natives are getting restless. As my melatonin levels continue to deplete and my skin turns an ashier shade of gray white, I’m encouraged to see the small hints of spring that point to two very important things: Easter’s a-coming and so are the tan lines. Hallelujah!

We’ve had some glorious days of sunshine, and I can’t help but smile at the bluebonnets that sprinkle the highways (super cheesy, I know, but us Texans are quite smitten with our bluebonnets). All of creation seems to be rolling out the red carpet for the celebration of the cross and the resurrection of our King. It never gets old.

As I was cooking dinner tonight, my 3^rd grader, Emerie, gave me the re-cap on the animated version of “The Passion” she watched at school. “You wouldn’t like it, mom. It will be too scary for you,” she said. And then she proceeded to tell me that Jesus didn’t actually have nails in His hands…but His wrists. That he was really whipped with the whips like she and Landrie played with in the yard yesterday. She also mentioned that the “bad guy” had his ear cut off and then was healed. Her story concluded with this statement, “and Peter denied Jesus three times, but I don’t really understand that.” (apparently "deny" hasn't made it on to her vocabulary list.)

Emerie’s detailed focus on the horror of Jesus’ death caused a brief moment of mommy panic (clearly, I had not done my job as a mother to raise her with all the Christian beliefs, and who then will ever want to marry her?!?).  Then my logic kicked in.

The mind of a child often gravitates towards the more dramatic elements of life, and I think we as adults have the same tendency. It takes a lot of mental strength to focus on the good, the outcome, the resolution, the resurrection. And that got me thinking about resurrection (little "r") and the dramatic things that we tend to focus on…things that have been buried that, for some reason, we continue to resurrect.

Merriam-Webster’s definition of “resurrection” is this:

verb: to cause (something that had ended or been forgotten or lost) to exist again, to be used again, etc.

In God’s economy, Resurrection is always associated with life. Death is the price He willingly paid for life. So life+death go hand in hand. But in our human economy, this life+death currency can lose a lot of value because of our inattention to life (grace, mercy, hope, freedom) and our over-attention to death (sin, shame, guilt, fear).

I’ve seen shame suck the life out of people (no pun intended) and render them hollow. I’ve seen women disqualify themselves from marriage, from parenting, from positions based on their belief that their sin was “too much.” I’ve seen countless women build monuments to their shame, as though being reminded of their past sin was the way in which they atoned for it. So let’s put down our shovels and walk away from the construction site on this truth alone: building a monument to our sin will never atone for it.

I was guilty of constructing such a monument myself. I struggled with shame over an unplanned pregnancy for the first 5 years of my marriage (you can read part of my testimony here). Over and over again, I resurrected the shame, insecurity, guilt, pride, and fear from that situation and wove it into my daily life. According to Merriam- Webster, I caused something to “exist again” that didn’t need to exist. But I kept digging. I kept building. I kept mining for the stone of remembrance so that I could atone…so that I could remember…so that I could create a monument – not to the transformative grace of Jesus – but to the shame-filled mess I made. I made shame my idol.

The moment I tasted Jesus’ offer of GRACE, I knew I had had it ALL. WRONG. My big, bad sin was actually a bold, beautiful story when I allowed Him to tell it; when I gave my whole heart to the restoration process.  Jesus paid the price, folks. His life+death currency was enough. He carried my sin and shame to the cross and there it is buried. I hope you know that He did this for you, too: His offer is on the table for us all. Not just the messy-story-that-worked-out, but also the messy-story-still-in-process.

That certainly, most definitely includes you. Messes and all.

I want to step off the emotional train for just a moment for a bit of practicality:

A simple heart check can alert us to the ways in which we may be resurrecting something that needs to be laid to rest. Just ask yourself two simple questions:

What am I resurrecting? and

Is this resurrection bringing me life?

If the answer to the second question is “no” – it’s time to bury it. Deal?

“…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17

(Oh, and please fill me in on The Passion….I only have my 3^rd grader’s synopsis to go by.)