When I was growing up, I was terribly shy. So shy, in fact, that I sometimes had a hard time speaking up within my own family. This shyness stemmed from a fear that what I said would be wrong, or worse, laughed at. I never felt good enough. Even now at 48 years old, I struggle with these feelings. It's insecurity and I've always wanted to be free of it, but I can't seem to dig those thoughts and feelings out of my head.

To compound the problem, after my first child was born, I was not able to take off the pregnancy weight. I added to the extra weight with 2 more pregnancies and more feelings of not being good enough, because now I was overweight and not attractive. I wasn't one of those beautiful creatures who may be overweight but still has this inner confidence that shines through and makes them what everyone else wishes they could be. Nope I was fat, tired, and insecure.

At some point last year I started feeling like I wanted to really overcome my insecurities. I was in a women's exercise and friendship group, and one of the challenges was to do something to better yourself. I thought about that for about 5 minutes. What could I do to better myself? I immediately knew it had to be something to work on overcoming my insecurities and once I knew that, I knew I had to go up onstage at REFIT. I was terrified! I contacted Nikki and told her what I wanted  (I really didn't WANT to) and asked her to pick a song that I knew really well. She agreed and we chose the song 'Good Morning' by Mandisa, which I had been dancing to since that very first class. Long story short, I got up there and felt great about myself. But that wasn't helping me to overcome my insecurities. It was still heavily on my mind. Around September of last year during class, Nikki started a routine that I knew very well and looked down at me on the front row and said, 'You need to get up here.' I shook my head and thought, 'no way, lady!' But then I remembered, 'overcome those insecurities. These women WANT you to succeed.' So I did it,and I messed up, but I felt awesome!

It wasn't long after this that I found out that the founders of REFIT were having a master class in a city near me in late July 2016. I was excited to meet the founders and be able to participate in one of their classes, AND it was only $10 so I signed up. But this thought of overcoming my insecurities was more and more on my mind. I knew that the day after this master class there would be an new instructor training and Nikki and other ladies in my REFIT class kept telling me that I needed to get certified to instruct. The only problem is, I don't really have a desire to teach a REFIT class. I thought it over for months. I prayed, I spoke with ladies I am close to in my classes. Finally I decided that I wanted to do it. This would be the ultimate in overcoming those pesky insecurities. Now to find the $200 to register for the class. I don't work outside the home and I didn't want to ask my husband for this money so I was selling some items around the house on a resale site and was slowly saving up. On my birthday, I was so surprised and touched when my husband gave me the $200 to attend the instructor training. I signed up immediately.

Once I signed up I knew that it was going to be a big challenge training in front of the creators of this wonderful Revolution. I decided to amp up my work on kicking the insecurities to the curb. Another challenge for myself: Go up onstage at every REFIT class from then until training day. And I did it, too. I was becoming more and more confident being onstage and then... my husband and I went on a month long trip to Colorado. No REFIT for me for at least 1 month. But it would be okay because once we returned home there would be 4 classes to get back into the groove of things before the master class and the training. Great plan, right? Wrong! Several days before we were supposed to come home from Colorado, I woke up and passed out on the floor! Unbeknownst to me, I had developed three stomach ulcers which had been bleeding. My blood pressure dropped very low, and I was out of commission for a couple of weeks.

This is a group shot of all the current and new REFIT instructors from Pensacola, and the REFIT founders.

This was an amazing experience for me. Do I still have insecurities? Yes, but I feel much more confident now than I ever have before. Just this morning at class, I went onstage again. I will continue going onstage until I'm comfortable enough to be up there alone, and probably long after that.

This is an ongoing work for me, and I gladly and expectantly face the challenge. I am becoming the confident woman I've always dreamed of being."