I remember the day I realized I was “old” – or I guess I should say I remember the day when I started looking old. It was after a photo shoot with a new photographer. As the proofs came across my computer screen, I opened the files and sat in shock.

You see, I’ve always been comfortable in front of a camera. My childhood was filled with a camera that often pointed in my direction thanks to my doting dad who enjoyed photography (and documenting every moment of his daughters’ lives.) To this day, I’m thankful for the photo albums that are filled with memories and moments from every season of my life, and I look back on the younger versions of myself with much fondness and nostalgia.

When REFIT first started and social media changed the shape of our culture, Catherine, Emily, and I often found ourselves in front of the camera for professional headshots, videos, or fitness-related content. Over our 10-year period, we’ve taken lots of photos. Some good. Some great. And on this particular occasion…some shocking.

The moment that shocked me was a series of photos that for the first time showed my age. My “real” age – with deep wrinkles and fine lines. With creases in my forehead. With sagging skin and droopy “jowls.”  I think what was so shocking was that I wasn’t expecting to see this version of myself…yet here she was. And she was OLD.

I didn’t like how I looked and slowly over time, I began not liking who I was.

It’s what you call a “defining moment” but in this instance, it wasn’t a positive thing. On that day and in that moment, I became aware of my fleeting youth, and it changed the way I saw myself from that moment on.

Now this is the part of the story where I, as a writer, should begin to complete the arc of the storyline and turn something negative into something brilliant or beautiful.  But I’m an honest writer (too honest perhaps), and the truth is —  since that defining moment in 2014, my self-image hasn’t improved.

I still struggle with the way I look. I still wish I was in my 30’s. I still desire to put on a swimsuit without being self-conscious about my mid-section. I still get insecure when I see photos and videos of myself. I still hate the way my belly hangs over my jeans. I still wonder if I can keep up with my two best friends and business partners who are 9 and 12 years younger than me.  I still struggle with imposter syndrome because I’m the founder of a fitness company, and I’m 25 pounds heavier than I’ve ever been.

But there are some other things I still do, too.
I still show up for photoshoots.
I still wear swimsuits and jeans.
I still teach fitness classes.
I still try to keep up with my best friends and business partners.
I still choose to show up as the older version of myself – every. single. day.

I still do these things because that’s what “living” is.  It’s getting off the hamster wheel of perfection and walking forward flawed. It’s choosing to live as the fullest version of yourself instead of shrinking yourself. It’s understanding that every choice you make to live boldly and bravely paves the way for someone else to do the same.  Aren’t you ready for that kind of living?

There is no magic or prescription to it — just start doing the things you’ve stopped doing because of insecurity or poor self-image. That’s it.

Start working out even if you’re not the “perfect” body type (might I suggest REFIT® 😉).

Put on a swimsuit — a bikini, if you dare!

Step in front of the camera and smile (turn your shoulder to the camera — angles help create a “shapely figure.”)

Wear the jeans!

Most of us aren’t “perfect 10s” – but perhaps we are “imperfect 30s, 40s and 50s.” And here’s the beautiful, brilliant part of the story you were hoping for:

Embracing your imperfection is freedom.  And it’s freeing.

It’s letting go of who you want to be and loving who you are.
And that’s the kind of love that transforms you into the kind of person you wanted to be in the first place.

How imperfect is that??

Reflect on your imperfect “outside”:
Do you struggle with your appearance?  If so, how?
In what ways are those imperfections “perfect” for you?
How can you walk “forward flawed” and embrace your imperfections?

| Keep Reading: Imperfect Fit by Angela Beeler >>