We’ve been talking lately about the art of BLENDING and highlighting different women that we call #SuperBlenders: women who lead busy lives and take on many roles, all the while maintaining perspective, purpose and passion.

This week's SuperBlender is Dr. Christina Crenshaw, a professor and Leadership Coordinator at Baylor University. Christina volunteers with a local anti human trafficking organization, Unbound, and nationally with the A21 organization. She is also the Heart of Texas Anti Human Trafficking Coalition Prevention Chair.  Last but not least, she is an incredible wife and mother of two precious boys (we aren’t just saying that, we’ve met them!)

Read as she shares a vulnerable, powerful journey of learning to walk and blend in grace. (You might want to get out a pen and some paper - there is some serious wisdom in here!)

What does blending mean to you?

Blending begins with a paradigm shift away from finding the elusive, non-existence equilibrium between work and life balance and embracing the concept that you are the same person simultaneously in all facets of life. For instance, I don’t cease being a wife, mother, sister, daughter, writer, researcher, and so forth when I step in front of the classroom as a professor. We operate in certain roles more depending upon the situation, but we take our personhood with us everywhere we go.

For decades, women have been encouraged to “balance” their work and home life, but there are several problems inherent with that concept. First, balance implies we've managed all of our scales, balls, or spheres so well, everything has found an equilibrium. This just isn’t realistic, and we will always come up short under that philosophy. It can also feel quite shameful for life to feel out of balance. Additionally, some areas of life require more attention depending on the season or even the day. Primarily, what I don’t like about the idea of balancing life is that it insinuates we live life compartmentally, and this just isn’t the case for the majority of working women. So many of us now work from home—even if we work out of the home, we still answer phone calls, texts, and emails from our home during our home time.

A blended approach to embracing our multifaceted roles and responsibilities does not mean we don’t set healthy boundaries. When I’m home with my kids, I put the phone and laptop away; I’m all eyes, hands, and heart on deck. But when they nap or they’re in bed for the night, it may mean getting back to work even though I’m working in my yoga pants at home.

My husband and I protect our date nights religiously. We take very seriously our need for connection in our marriage as well as connection with our church community. Some times our boundaries for our personal life take up more time than our work life, and in this sense, our balance would be off. So, instead, we’ve adopted a blended philosophy that understands the demands of work and family life come in ebbs and flows, and we have to ebb and flow with it as opposed to maintain a perfect balance.

What has been hard about blending?

The hardest part about blending is ensuring life doesn’t encroach on our boundaries. We have sacred spaces we protect: time with our children, date nights, time with the Lord, and so forth. In any given week, my kids likely have more of my time than my work. Yet, there are rare occasions when work requires more of my attention. I no longer stress about whether the scales between work and personal life are perfectly balanced; I’ve reconciled that’s simply impossible to sustain. Instead, I put my large rocks in the jar first, which are my immovable boundaries, and I let the sand spill over the rest.

[caption id="attachment_5272" align="aligncenter" width="672"] Christina and her sweet family[/caption]

What are some of the biggest things you’ve learned in this process?

Before I was a mother, I taught feminist literature courses. I read all the books and articles; I watched the TED Talks; I espoused all the rhetoric to my students; essentially, I drank the Kool Aide. I believed I really could do and have it all.

If I could tell young women any one truism I’ve learned it’s this: you cannot have and do it all. Mostly, you can’t have and do it all because there is no such thing, but also, children require an immense amount of attention. They force you to slow down. And for that I’m thankful for this. I’m a better person for this. I’ve never met a mother of grown children who regretted investing time with her children when they were growing. That time is so finite and fleeting, so draw a priority boundary around it.

What would you say to others learning to blend their lives?

Perhaps part of the reason people struggle with work life balance is in part due to the two areas of their life not being congruent or cohesive. As much as possible, integrate all of your spheres. Remember to embrace the notion what you are not only what you do professionally but also—and more importantly— you are also a daughter, sister, wife, mother, volunteer… who happened to do what you do professionally. Moreover, allow all of your varied passions to ignite each other. For instance, my desire to fight human trafficking, support third world orphans, and provide support to struggling mothers grew even larger after I had children and my perspective shifted from being single to being a mother. I also try to include my family and faith in as much of my professional life as possible. For instance, since I work at a university, it’s not uncommon for my children to eat lunch with me in one of the residence halls and then stroll around campus before I take them back to school.

We are so thankful for Christina letting us into her journey and letting us link arms with her to blend fearlessly. Keep watch on our social media accounts to see who we’re hearing from next week! :)